From Boys to Men


Pickup can be a long arduous journey for many. It can be full of highs and lows, a emotional roller coaster of the soul and a constant test on your mind as to how much pressure you can take and how far you can stretch your comfort zone. Many coming into pick up come in because perhaps in the past they were a loser in high school, lacked success with women, lacked confidence, and as way to prove to themselves (or others) that they are cool. Others may want to get women out of revenge or spite due to past failure and emotional trauma. Some view the whole thing as a competition against other men or you vs. the girl, rather than a battle of you against yourself, and a journey of becoming better than you were yesterday. President Roosevelt once stated “Comparison is the thief of joy…that comparing your life, or whatever else will only serve to make you unhappy.”. Pick up can be personal discovery of what type of women you like through a variety of experience with them. As you gradually increase your understanding of women and pinpoint the type you like you grow attraction towards those types and find an affinity with those who display the values or looks you have found you are naturally attracted to.  


Emotional growth

For those who dive deeper into their emotional trauma, blockages, and subconscious behaviors, pick up can be a journey to deal with and let go a lot of these emotions. Learning about why you have these emotional issues, when they formed, and learning to let go or integrate them is very important for your emotional health, happiness, and success in connecting with women and forming relationships with them. Those who chose to remain stuck at  certain emotional level of development are rarely able to connect with women, or rarely able to keep them around even if they manage to hook up with them. They are stuck in the highs and lows and don’t feel as if they are enough. They may even start to hate women for flaking, ghosting them, blowing them out, and not following their desires of control. Instead of exploring a bubble of interpersonal connection and offering a valuable journey for her, they view pick up more as a means to control women as a power game. When the women doesn’t follow their will they are pissed! These people get very moody with others (including other men) and lack the grounded chill energy that those who have gotten in touch with their own emotions and worked through them have. They are uncomfortable with themselves and seek some form of escape.  Women are inherently not attracted to these kind of Men for longer periods because they are emotionally still children and haven’t quite grown up. If you check yourself on why you might harbor these feelings and what emotional issues are holding you back, pick up can help in you maturation process into becoming a Man of value. If you use pick up as a competition or ego-game you will be doomed to wallow in the shadow of negativity you are clinging to within.



Pick up can be a rocket boost in your ability to socialize and communicate effectively. You learn to have a strong frame, communicate clearly, and to empathize with the girl. If you dive deeper you learn how to get people to open up and take off the masks.their wearing while sharing personal things they may only share with those they’ve known for years. Also you’re able to free flow what you want to say without filter comfortably without “walking on egg shells”, but meanwhile able to read her emotional rhythm and calibrate accordingly in a diplomatic fashion as an interaction is a 2-way street. You are also able to be stern and communicate your boundaries clearly instead of being walked all over. On the other hand, becoming an active listener and seeking to understand before being understood is one communication leap that may occur on your journey. Those who are able to achieve consistent success with women understand the power of making a women feel valued and understood while being able to lead with your plan and frame as a win-win for both parties. Those who never develop their form of self expression may repel girls (or other men) piss people off and display a low social intelligence through their poor mode of communication. Refining your communication skill and range of expression is an integral part of the journey of pick up.



Realizing that you are your biggest enemy holding you back is important. When you give yourself the permission to take action and to unwind the tangled thought loops that keep you from realizing you are enough your mindset and behaviors will slowly align into the Man you naturally are and not the boy you perhaps once were.  Low level childish mindsets are a big thing that keep people from success in pick up and also from happiness in life. They may treat women as a means to an end rather than as another person with her own mind, values, and emotion to form a beautiful bond with (whether short or long). Learning to recognize your own inherent value while exploring the possibilities around you is crucial. At the end of the day pick up is for yourself, your betterment as a person, fun and enjoyment with women you like, and your relationships that provide a variety of physical, emotional, and mental nourishment.  You may possess poor frames about women, people, and yourself. A Question you may ask is “Why do I feel this way about women or other men?” And “How is this holding me back from the life I want?” Learning more about yourself, female psychology, and social dynamics will take you a long way by shifting your mindsets long term and thus your behaviors and results. God speed!