How to Approach Korean Girls
After coaching clients and testing many styles of approaching in Korea while also watching other people approach Korean women in their own way, I’ve filtered down what types of approaches are most effective relative to the environment you approach Korean girls in. The western pick up community is full of debates about opening indirect vs direct, or statements like “the opener doesn’t matter.” After thoroughly approaching in all environments I’ve filtered out what works best for opening Korean girls so you can have the best shot with the girls who catch your eye!
Approach Korean Girls Optimally – Observational or Situational
To effectively approach Korean girls on the street, commenting on something you see that is either unique or not so unique but is something that you can point out and make an assumption (i.e. cold reading) about her is ideal. An example would be you see a girl wearing an office look but walking around with shopping bags at 4 p.m. Something like “Oh thats an office look but Korean companies finish late, you must be off early or on break now.” The reason this type of approach is so powerful is because it shows you took notice of her and is a statement that gets her engaged yet it doesn’t put pressure on her nor is it overly intentful before actually interacting with her (i.e direct opener “your style is nice or you’re pretty). Going overly direct on the street is something a lot of Korean guys do and often gets them blown out. In addition, if the girl is attractive she’s heard such comments so many times she’ll have laugh it off or automatically ignore it as it has little impact just like you ignore the Ajjuma (아줌마) handing out flyers at your local subway station exit. If she’s even somewhat attractive and you are a man approaching her with proper eye contact, proper body language, and voice tone (sub communications), she’ll know you’re hitting on her. Men do not approach women on the street in Korea to make friends or play checkers 😉 The more attractive they are usually the more apparent this is. Something that snaps her attention and gets her engaged, yet comfortable enough to respond is ideal.
As mentioned in a previous podcast, Korean girls can be more like cats, they need time to warm up to your side and can easily be “shocked” whereas their western counterparts and naturally more aggressive and outgoing…in your face and much less “squeemish.” Ultimately not having a “canned opener” and going in blank saying what you see on or in her also keeps you more present to the moment and engaged rather than dull and robotic like many others approaching with the same line over and over. You can of course also comment on something in the environment or situation since the place you are in is initially the only commonality between the two of you and can ground you and her in the environment during the interaction (i.e. “I don’t usually see Koreans in the English Non-fiction section” or “This cafe is way too busy today”). This often comes off as most natural as well and is often perceived as “it just happened.”
Approach Korean Girls – Direct and Indirect –
Ultimately the most important thing is that you are actually taking action and approaching. If your brain freezes or you need a bit of time to ease yourself into the approaches, allowing yourself to use a canned line to get your feet in the water can be good. Something direct “I liked your style” or indirect “Do you know where the Starbucks is?” Use this like training wheels when you are starting out or experiencing approach anxiety because they can get the ball rolling, but just like training wheels they should be shed off once you get going. Of course what’s sub-communicated is more important than mere words and taking action trumps non action all day. The challenge you’ll face if you constantly go indirect is that you’ll have to very quickly transition off the opener to something else like your story, or finding out about her/making cold reads. If not it starts and ends as a lame attempt to sneak your way into meeting her. That being said, in a closed environment such as a bus or subway or even a cafe a slightly indirect approach can work very well opposed to the street. On the street she can walk away but in a closed environment she can’t so saying something direct can put a bit too much pressure on her. An indirect question can help take pressure off of her and you can feel out the dynamic by continuing to chat. In a daytime context saying something direct like “your style is nice” or “you’re pretty so I wanted to say hi” is generally sub optimal due to the reasons noted above. It can be good to get yourself over approach anxiety and put your balls on the line but it will have a much lower hit rate. In addition, using such canned openers gets you less in the moment and free flowing. If you go direct its best to say something specific you like about their look that differentiates themselves in your eye. Direct openers conveying more intent can cause a bit more of an impact in Korean Night game venues like a bar or high end club because you need to get their attention among the busy stimulus (i.e I want to meet you really quick). Even so, saying something a bit specific you like about their look/style/fashion is more engaging than a generic statement (i.e. I like your short hair/ or french fashion look etc). Korean night venues are a lot different than a cafe or the street and so calibrating your expressiveness and physical leadership applies more there than in daytime environments.
To approach Korean girls in the street and various environments effectively, experience is required. The most important element of approaching is….approaching! Until next time 😉