Mistakes guys make when dating Korean girls
Perhaps you just arrived in Korea fresh off the boat with a gung-ho attitude excited at the chance to start dating Korean girls. You finally meet and get some dates set up with a handful and realize most dates either end on a “nice meeting you” or “see you next time” and that rarely ends up in another meet up. Or perhaps you go on several dates and become friends…it doesn’t go anywhere sexually or romantically or it’s not the dynamic you had in mind. You’re confused because back in your hometown you would have coffee dates or activity dates and if they went well you’d meet again for a few more and seal the deal. Or you read western pick up literature that teaches a 3 date model and this too doesn’t seem to pan out in Seoul from your experience. Or perhaps you’ve been in Korea for a while with random success…..maybe made a girlfriend or two or a handful of hookups using the western model on dating Korean girls but the results are dismal and you might be wondering if there is another way or wondering what mistakes you might be doing in this culture completely foreign to your own. Dating Korean girls can be confusing so we’ll go over the 5 most common mistakes guys make when dating Korean girls.
Mistake 1 – Not having a plan
A lot of people have dates in Korea with no game plan. They meet for a coffee and chat and either expect the girl to lead them or hope a nice chit chat will solidify things for next time. A Korean girl will rarely lead you on a date and shows up expecting you have a plan, she’ll gladly follow it if she feels comfortable and is enjoying the experience. After all you are the man, you approached her, you invited her out, the date plan is also your responsibility as a man. In the cases that you leave the plan to the girl it rarely goes well and ends up often being a mess or waste of time for both parties. If you go for a coffee or chit chat and don’t play to win, your successes will be lackluster and the more attractive girls will often ghost you. You should have a game plan. Meet in an area that is logistically favorable to you, have some venues planned out, and have your place or a location pre-planned where you can spend private time together..
Mistake 2 – Setting up dates far in advance.
A lot of guys will meet Korean girls, get their number, and proceed to set up a date. They set it up for days later or even in a week later. They wonder why they have flake rates of over 50% and blame Korean girls for being flakey. When dating Korean girls, you should set up the date over text within a few days of getting the number and ALWAYS aim for setting up the date the next day or at worst 2 days in advance. It minimize the random variables of company dinners, illnesses, other dates popping up, obligations, or second guessing coming out as the emotional impact fades from the initial interaction. In order to maximize your success in dating Korean girls, set up your dates in close proximity to meeting the girl.
Mistake 3 – Over escalating
A lot of foreigners coming from a western country are used to talking nonchalantly about sex or being physical in public to show interest. Unfortunately this approach isn’t ideal for Korea as the girl often feels uncomfortable and judged by the surrounding locals. While playful expression can be good or physical contact that makes sense in the context, “sexual escalation” or “kino” is best reserved for isolation. In addition bringing up any sexual topic or venturing into that type of conversation is best to be avoided by cutting the thread and laying down a train track headed to a new topic to steer the conversation. Talking about relationships can be good, but avoid any explicit sexual talk in order to ensure actual sex is possible when dating Korean girls.
Mistake 4 – Not leading the conversation
A lot of foreigners come into dates and expect the girl to talk a lot or to even lead the conversation a bit. While some girls may be a bit more outgoing and conversational, in general you should come in expecting to lead the conversation through various terrain by sharing your story, finding out about her and her story and connecting on values while hopping through a variety of topics (vibing). When you land on a topic that connects with the girl or when you are exploring her story, you certainly want to facilitate her opening up and investing into the interaction. But you realize when dating Korean girls, your role is as a conductor of the symphony so to speak. Lead the interaction while allowing her to feel comfortable and engaged enough to open up and partake in the rhythmic play of female male energy.
Mistake 5 – Getting Bad advice on Dating Korean girls
This may be one of the biggest mistakes I see with foreigners dating Korean girls in particular. They look to all the wrong sources for advice and therefore go by year after year either not dating the women they want, not getting laid, and trying the same things over and over expecting different results (yes the definition of insanity).They look to cult-like gurus who claim to “Have it all figured out in Korea” but who actually never had success with Korean girls and no evidence of consistency of any of their claims. Instead it may be an echo chamber of bad advice and excuses merely reinforced by the group-think. If something works once in a great while and you think it’s the best option, that’s merely confirmation bias into a poor inefficient system or perhaps outdated school of game. Others also try to follow modern Western pick up advice or at worst clownish mystery method offshoots when they are tailored to a totally different culture and have aspects that convey very off putting behaviors to locals. They may even ask Korean girls for advice who will say to go on several dates and a nice fancy dinner. At the end of the day you want to find a mentor or group who are successful dating Korean girls with actual results and mimic their behaviors or mindsets.