Now that people are getting back to action in spring, there is a common issue that resurfaces. You go out and approach a few attractive girls, some of them walk away immediately, others say things like “no thanks” or give you looks of disinterest. You walk away reactive, feeling bad, feeling down, wondering what’s wrong with you or why they hate you….and you fall into self doubt and negative emotions. You think about hanging up the cleats for that day….then the week…then the month….then perhaps forever.
First of all its important to understand that experiencing negative emotions, disappointment, and self-doubt is normal. You are not weird at all! However the universe is trying to teach you a lesson, “people only have as much power as you give them.” You can let reactions get you down, continually think about them, and fall into a downward spiral…
Or! You can realize that you have no control over others reactions, only your own reactions and action in the situation. Most people are overly focused on themselves and thus view everything as an ego-blow or personal attack. A lot of the time the girl is busy, in a bad mood, has a boyfriend she’s into, and millions of other things going on that are outside of your control. That being said, all you can do is focus on how she feels and not let temporary reactions phase you. An analogy I teach students is that a day out is like a boxing match or NBA game – imagine being overly focused on one shot or one punch….there are 12 rounds more to go (or 4 more quarters)….that one play or one shot is nothing in the bigger picture – you can judge the day by the end of it, not tiny reactions in round 1 or round 2 of the day. If girls seem uncomfortable on the approach, perhaps you are getting to close or are too overbearing, give them space and look away a bit. If they barely ever acknowledge you perhaps you need to get closer, speak louder and more boldly. Perhaps you are interviewing her…bombarding her with questions and leeching value…she quickly gets bored or becomes disinterested. Girls will often reflect the things that you need to adjust back to you by the way they react consistently over time (from the approach to your texting, and the date) Also a fair amount of blow outs, disinterest, and ignoring is par for the course and happens to the best of us!
If you want a cheat sheet guide to review over while interacting with Korean girls, check out the new cheat sheet here! If your question is not answered I will also personally answer it as part of the purchase! Happy Gaming!